My Deer
by fake-lis
Summary: AU: Matt and Mello are animal halflings, living lives as their respective animals until their paths cross. Will the predator follow nature's course or will he give in to his own unnatural instincts?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This idea simply _would not_ leave me alone so I've finally broken down and written most of it. I hope you will give me feedback and I'll have more posted very soon. Also, I haven't used any names so far in the fiction so pay attention!

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I was stalking him for a while before he noticed me. I thought maybe I had lost my meal when he suddenly turned toward me but he only made it a few steps before stumbling and beginning to limp. He was injured, obviously lame in his left hind leg, so I continued after him. He was a probably no more than a yearling judging by his spiked antlers. I always admired their antlers, especially here in the late summer when they were full size and shown off proudly.

Soon I wasn't even running, just casually following him as he tried desperately to cut through the underbrush instead of leaping through it. I wanted to keep admiring him, his legs, his wide eyes, and even the subtle red of his coat. He was truly beautiful and it wasn't fair to keep him running in such obvious pain. I charged him, ready for make a clean kill when he fell to the ground as a human. He stood quickly, dressed in odd human clothes and crying out at me. I suppose he hoped to scare me, and it may have worked on another wolf.

I was impressed by his guts and almost hated to reveal why his plan wouldn't work. I stood before him as human; my own clothing better tailored and form fitting. His face sunk when he realized that he had no way out. He fell backwards as tears began to flow down his face. I wouldn't attack since he was a halfling, though this was courtesy I didn't afford to many. I knew I should leave him, I was only causing him distress and I'd seen what this much fear could do to a deer. The halflings of prey are weak of heart and often die of fright but I stepped closer anyway. He would only be a meal for a less kind predator if I left him after all.

When I reached out for him he shut his eyes, perhaps for the better, allowing me to rest my hand against his cheek. His ears flicked back and I almost smiled at their largeness compared to mine. He was flushed from the run and looking at him up close, I could tell he was also weak and possibly feverish. I could feel myself giving in to temptation and quickly scooped him up in my arms before I could stop myself. His eyes remained stubbornly closed as I began walking, keeping him tucked close to my body. He would whimper every now and again but otherwise kept still. His sickness would explain why he had been alone when I found him.

I was careful to watch my surroundings as I made it back to my home. I had dug it out of a hillside on the edge of the woods several summers back and now the hollow would have its first guest. I turned to carry him through the outer door and smiled in pride at the memory of building it. I had spent weeks stealing a heavy beam to serve as a post for the door and tools to put it together. Now it stood strong and sometimes human travelers even mistook my home for one of theirs.

I had to set the deer down to unlock the inner door, this being the actual security of the two. Inside was a hanging lamp, a hearth, and a bed of sorts. It was more of a nest of blankets layered atop one another with pillows for shape, all stolen of course. I lay the redhead in my arms down before stroking the fire back into existence. The smoke drifted up an out of the top of the hill, a beacon of warmth during the winter. Glancing one last time at the deer asleep in my bed, I left for supplies and locked the door behind me.

A bucket of cool water from the river, vegetables, and bandages and rags from the town didn't even take me until sunset to collect and I hurried back to find him still asleep. I was oddly nervous as I pulled a pot over to the tripod above the fire and began a small stew. Nursing a deer back to health would be more than tricky and might even prove impossible.

Once it was beginning to boil I set the remaining water next to the bed and began ringing out a cloth to cool him. I had some medicine but I'd wait till he woke to give it to him. Unfortunately that was sooner than I'd hoped. He came to as I was running the rag across his forehead and sprang back, or tried to at least. He cried out as he tried using his left foot and failed. I backed off quickly, dipping the cloth again and slowly reaching for his ankle.

His breathing was erratic and I tried to avoid eye contact; I didn't need to panic him further. I kept my movements slow as I held the makeshift cold compress against his ankle. I supposed the bandages would have to wait until after the swelling had gone down. He was shaking, tired and terrified but I only wanted to help him. Of course he didn't know that and I vowed to cause him as little stress as possible and free him as soon as his ankle was healed.

I set his foot at the edge of the bed where it would be elevated and slowly moved away to make sure he kept it there. He tried to keep his eyes on me while I worked on the soup for him but finally drifted back to sleep. I woke him when I had a bowl for him and, though he was scared, when I set two pills and the bowl near him and backed away he quickly took them and ate. I replaced the rag on his ankle before backing away and lying down near the fire.

My thoughts of before soon consumed me, flashes of brown eyes and porcelain skin haunting me. There had been another yearling, hurt in the woods and I had taken him home to nurse him, or that had been my excuse. I had taken it too far, acted on impulses I shouldn't possess. His death was inevitable. If I was truly honest with myself I knew I shouldn't have repeated my mistakes with this one.

It was several days before he really looked any better and through that time he stayed in bed, only going outside a few times a day with me. I wished he could fully rest but my presence kept him tense. Sometimes I would catch him crying and he had frequent nightmares. My self-control was tested each time as I held back from comforting him. I constantly reminded myself that waking from nightmares of wolves to see my face would be no comfort at all and there was nothing I could do to quell the fear in his eyes when he cried.

When he slept I allowed myself to creep forward and sit beside him, simply watching. He was so beautiful, the way only deer could be. Every part of him was delicate but strong. His slender build and large eyes made him look so frail but he would be a buck someday, with large antlers and a mate. Halflings always mated for life with other halflings and with his looks he might even find a mate this year. That was how things should go.

I was an outcast, alone and living in a particularly human way because of my odd tastes. How could this deer understand that I wanted to do far more unnatural things to him than eat him? The sooner he was fit to leave the better.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Just a note: this is not the last chapter, even if it sounds like it could be an ending. So continue to look for new chapters and always I look forward to your reviews!

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I had been in the wolf's care for weeks before he began leaving the door open, locking it only at night. I suppose he deemed me well enough to fend for myself if I chose to leave but I was still encouraged to stay. If I wasn't back by sunset he would set out a bowl of stew and though I couldn't think of a reason to stay I continued accepting his offerings.

When I was trapped I had been more than terrified. My every minute was spent imagining what he could do to me. Any breath could have been my last. Now having the freedom to come and go made me sure that his only intention had been to heal my ankle and my illness.

I had been delirious when first brought here, unable to reason out why he was taking care of me. Once I was better I realized that I still couldn't find a reason. I had been convinced I was being saved for the winter months, an idea I still feared could prove true. Despite this, the care he took to keep me calm began to convince me otherwise. He had even avoided catching my eye, instead being as invisible as possible in his own home to make me more comfortable.

Somehow I felt a genuine care for my wellbeing and I continued to return to his bed for several weeks after I was better. He was always quick to take the floor, sleeping as far away from me as possible. If he hadn't occasionally returned from hunting smelling of death and blood I might have thought he didn't have a taste for meat. He did though, and it kept me from breaking our routine and letting him get closer as I knew he wanted. I often felt his eyes on me, studying me when I wasn't looking but I couldn't trust a wolf. I reminded myself often of what he was least I forget and think him a friend. We shared the bond of being halflings and I suppose that was why he helped me but I still planned on returning to my herd when winter began to set in. There was no reason to stay when his food became scarce.

I began visiting my herd when fall set in, driven to begin searching for a mate. It wouldn't be my permanent since there were no others like me in my group but my instincts still urged me to fawn this season. The days were getting shorter and I tried not to think of the warm fire waiting for me. Instead I focused on preparing myself for winter and courting. Prey halflings were different than their natural counterparts aside from the obvious female role we held in our animal states. I also came into an earlier rut, which gave me first pick of the males and my pheromones ensured they would ignore my antlers.

Each night I dreamed of my perfect mate: strong, tall, and handsome. He would be a seasoned buck capable of protecting me. That was the trait I found most attractive, unlike my female companions who seemed to value fleeting antlers. As my first rut loomed my search became more frantic and every night my dreams became more vivid.

I leaped through my thicket into a clearing, stopping when I spotted a stag across the small field. He watched me before approaching and I quickly deemed him a fit mate. Now came the dance. I would show my interest teasingly before flashing my tail and bounding away. If he wanted me he would chase until I let him catch me. I was proud when he promptly began running after me, approaching me every time I stopped to entice him. Just as I felt ready to let him begin he froze. He was alert and on edge in an instant before spotting something behind me and darting away. My heart fell as I turned to see what had chased my potential lover away.

A large wolf stood still, eyes boring into me. Everything in me screamed to run but I stood frozen instead. Somehow he didn't frighten me the way he should and I soon realized why when he stood as human before me. This was my wolf and I sensed that I had nothing to fear. I changed as well, though I knew he had already recognized me. As he started forward I let my eyes wander over him and notice things I hadn't wanted to see before. He was taller than me, though not as slim. He was lean in only the way a predator ever was, just enough to be intimidating but not enough to get in the way of his agility. He was serious and confident, obviously he had seen several seasons already yet he had had no mate.

I let my mind wander where I hadn't dared before. He was odd in a way that didn't sit well with my instincts, too interested in me and mate-less. Was it because…

Before I could comprehend where my thoughts were taking me he was standing before me, perfectly still. I melted under his gaze, stepping toward him and baring my neck submissively. As I traced a hand down his clothed chest I began to wonder if he truly wanted what I had come to suspect.

I jerked awake, panting and in full rut. The dream had been so vivid and I groaned as the need to mate washed over me. Today was the day. Hormones drummed in my head, making me hot and short of breath. I couldn't think straight as I stood shakily and bounded toward the scent of other males. I attracted their attention easily with my strong smell but through the morning I turned each of them down. I should have been proud of the show many of them put on, clashing their antlers fiercely. I was desperate but I couldn't help but compare them to the perfect lupine form from my dream. I longed for my forever mate, the simple act of copulation no longer enough. I would need to travel far from my normal territory to find another halfling and, mind made up, I bounded away without thinking.

My head was in a fog as I ran at breakneck speed, not even sure where I was going. I fell to my knees as human more than once, groaning as my pulse pounded in my ears. Each time it became harder to stand and change back. Without knowing how I had gotten there I found myself at the wolf's den. I stood in human form, panting and tired. On cue he appeared from around the hill, arms full of wood, as I was contemplating what to do. When he spotted me he froze, eyes wide, and I approached him in a daze. The firewood was quickly settled beside the door before he stood to watch me. His stare was incredulous as I came closer than I ever had to him. He didn't dare move and even his breathing was slight as he looked over me for the first time in days. I'm sure he had thought we would never meet again and honestly that was what I had intended.

My dream had left off here and I wondered if I had the courage to continue it. And even if I did, would I be right about him? I trailed my hand down his chest as in my dream, stopping at his abdomen and looking up at him. He slowly began to lean down, eyes never leaving mine as I tilted my face up as if to let him steal a kiss. When he was close though I pulled away, noticing that his hands had been reaching to encircle me. I danced coyly away, keeping my ears trained on him and pausing a short distance away. When he continued to stare I flicked my tail at him and hopped from one foot to the other. He began to follow, slowly at first, and then faster as he gained confidence that it was what I wanted.

I wasn't sure how wolves courted but he was clearly eager to impress me, confirming my suspicions. He was a skilled hunter and now he used his cleverness to fathom out the rules of the chase. He became used to my stops, realizing quickly that this was his chance to approach me and gain small touches. When he was sure he knew the game he began chasing me in earnest, determination clear on his brow.

With my limited patience running thin I began leading him back to his den, excited by the thought of finally seeing what he would do if he caught me. It was just becoming twilight when I stopped for the last time at his door, glancing over my shoulder at him. His arms wrapped around me with no uncertainty and I was spun around to meet him, our bodies pressed flush against each other.

My teasing had bashed away his hesitance and replaced it with a burning need to rival my own, evidenced by the hardness against my thigh. I was brought into a deep kiss and I hungrily returned it, letting myself be walked backwards into the warmth of the den. I offered no fear; I didn't want to be treated gently and I pulled at his hair when he rubbed our bodies together.

When we stood by the bed he turned me to face it, his hands trailing down my body to my baggy pants. He slid them off my hips and let them hit the floor as his fingertips explored down my thighs. Next my long striped sweater was pushed up my chest agonizingly slowly, exposing the rest of me. When it was over my arms I locked them behind me around his neck, letting him look over my shoulder as he continued to map out my body. I shivered when the rough pads of his thumbs ran over my hipbones and whimpered when he licked up my neck, growing impatient.

I broke away, kneeling in his bed before falling onto my hands and knees and wiggling my tail. My rut wouldn't let me be patient and judging by the jerk in his now freed manhood he didn't mind at all. He stripped and fell into bed with me, pulling me into his lap. I should have guessed that he wouldn't want me like an animal and somehow this was better. I studied his face as his hands slid down my back to land at my ass and squeezed. He knew how needy I was and wasted no time in parting my cheeks and feeling for my already leaking entrance.

I was more than ready, waiting to be filled and wondering why he would stop. I knew he must be eager but he paused to pull me close and nuzzle my neck. He kissed me unexpectedly as he finally guided himself into me and I sunk down onto his lap with a shuddering breath.

I was clinging to him, head spinning and too weak to push him any deeper. He didn't have any problem leaning me backward until he was on top of me, my legs wrapped around his waist. He began thrusting slowly at first, each cant of his hips punctuated with a deep growl that sent chills racing up my spine. It was then that I felt something I couldn't explain. If felt like he was swelling inside me and as he continued to rock his hips I realized that was exactly what was happening. He was locked inside with just enough room to continue thrusting and grazing the spot he knew was driving me crazy. Only a few seconds later he came hard, pouring hot ribbons into my body and I whined in disappointment but he didn't stop.

When he sped up I found my voice and it only served to arouse him more. He alternated pulling quiet sighs from my lips with his gentle worship and hoarse cries with his bruising pace. He came again and again, my mind uncomprehending how different out anatomy was as he filled me with his cum. I could tell he wanted so badly to take his time but I quickly diminished his will. He would twitch inside of me when I was particularly submissive and I used his weakness to my full advantage. I nuzzled into the oily patch of skin below his ears, marking myself in his scent covering his face with kisses. My cries were pleading and I tangled my hands in his hair to pull him closer. He couldn't hold back as I completely seduced his senses and I overflowed with his seed.

It was over far too quickly with gentle tugs at my weeping cock and sloppy kisses down my body. I was soon nestled into his side, sleepily kissing and nipping at him as he smiled down at me. Now he could properly explore me, taking in my ears and tail with unabashed fascination and I fell asleep under his gentle touch.

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I wasn't sure he had truly mated with me until he nipped at my lips, giving a small growl to mimic my own. He was playful post sex, if a bit tired, and soon all my doubts were erased. Beside me lay a deer that was unafraid; one that I wouldn't kill with a growl or toothy smile. He was mine forever, my mate.

Somehow nature had smiled on her strange solitary wolf and given me the one thing I had given up having. Even after he fell asleep I continued to run my hands over him, wanting to know him completely. He was the most erotic creature I could imagine, every inch seemingly built to seduce me from his wide submissive eyes to the supple roundness curving out below his tail. My mate was perfect, my flawless yearling. For once my mind was light as I fell asleep, eager to prove my love when we woke.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I'm and so incredibly sorry for the delay. I had no internet access over spring break and am just now back at school. Enjoy the upload and expect more soon!

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When I woke in the morning my mind was assaulted with feelings I had no name for. When I stood and dressed I was shaking with uncontrollable dread and when I ran I could not stop. Whether it was fear of my new mate or of myself I didn't know yet. My rut was over and the impact of what I had done finally set in.

I had mated with a wolf. A creature of my worst nightmares which could only want to hurt me and now I was forever bonded to him. I sprinted, not caring where I ended up and praying desperately that I could outrun my emotions. Everything I felt about him was a lie; I knew it couldn't be true. A lone wolf who lived far too much as a human and loved a deer? No, all my instinct told me he didn't really want me, at least not the way I had wanted him the night before. I was sick; something was wrong with me for lusting after my predator. How had I found his strength so attractive, his body so comforting? I had entrusted my soul to him in a fit of rut and now there was no escape save running.

I knew that I could not distance myself from the stain of my sin, no matter how many briers I let tear at my skin but I was still miles away before I stopped, too exhausted to go on. I doubled over in the pain of loosing my mate because no matter how much I wanted to deny it we were a pair forever and I would never have another.

I regretted leaving the minute I stepped outside but I had made myself truly vulnerable to him. Though he had the same unnatural desires as me he had been in full control while I had spiraled emotionally, crashing into love. He would only want me for so long before growing hungry. As I knelt in the snow I began to wonder if that would be any worse than living without him. Both my choices were bleak: spend only a short time happy with my mate or a lifetime miserable without him.

I wanted to return to my old life. Everything seemed much simpler then and I hardly spent any time as human. I had been content to live as most halflings did and die in my animal form. I wished that going back could undo my choices or distance my mind from the grief.

It wasn't until that night that I heard his howls, shattered haunting calls that echoed across the forest. They twisted at my soul and no amount of covering my ears could block it. His was the cry of a man broken and the land fell silent in response. He was sobbing to me, begging me to return but I knew better. Deep in my chest I knew his love wasn't real and I must not go back.

I found my herd the next day but covered in wolf scent, they were weary to accept me. It took several days before they stopped avoiding me altogether but even then I was an outcast. Every few nights I would hear his howling carried by the wind and my chest would clench. I could only huddle in my thicket, cold and crying, desperately aching for the warm arms of my mate.

It was well into winter when I realized that the unthinkable had happened. I hadn't even considered it when I had chosen him but the rounding of my belly didn't lie.

I was carrying a wolf's child.

I couldn't comprehend how it could have happened. I sobbed for days, already attached to my fawn but terrified of the possibilities. Treacherous thoughts whispered that it could already be dead. I forced myself to forage for food to keep us alive but it soon became clear that my fellow deer knew something was wrong with me. I was chased away, even attacked. I shed both my antlers early in fights before finally giving up and avoiding the others.

I began to spend each night as a human, huddled in the warmest places I could find, so that I could wrap my arms protectively around my child. I had wanted to fawn so badly before but now I was alone and unsure. There was no mate to comfort me and none of my herd would accept the child no matter the outcome. It was already clear they could sense it did not belong.

As a halfling I had hoped I could carry on alone but one evening it began to snow as I had never seen. Where there had been little snow before now there was a thick blanket and no food to be found. I was increasingly in danger of freezing, growing sluggish and thin. Still I would hear my wolf's cries and I shakily resigned myself to the fact that he might be my child's only chance. My pregnancy had made my choice and I could only hope it was for the better. Despite my reservations I couldn't help but fantasize about being in his arms, his soft kisses, even his serious face. I didn't know if that was what awaited me but the hope kept me walking even as the snow continued to rise.

It took two full days of travel to make it to his hill, smoke lazily drifting out of the top. I didn't let myself reconsider, steeling myself for what was to come whether it be good or bad. At least if his pleas were a trap it would be a quick death for my child and I rather than slowly freezing.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews! They really keep me going :)

edit: corrected a few spelling/grammar errors

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It had been months and still I was pining for my mate. I howled for him almost every night, broken the way no predator should be. I had been so sure that he had bonded to me that night, beyond any doubt. I was a pathetic wolf, weak to my twisted needs and now trapped longing for my yearling. I had allowed myself so much hope only to be denied the only thing I wanted. Whenever I remembered how he acted that night I could feel it blossoming again before I pushed it back down and reminded myself that he had been in rut. He had been driven by desperate instinct to find the strongest partner.

I had trouble sleeping, a problem not helped by the lack of prey this season. I didn't have any will to go on left, only my instincts keeping me going. My bedding still smelled of him and often I slept on the floor to avoid wishing for his soft presence. I was plagued with nightmares that spurred me to keep calling for him, desperate to know he was alright.

It was another sleepless night when I heard my doorknob rattling, followed by a faint knock. I almost ignored it, startled by the unprecedented occurrence. I was weary as I barley opened the door, fearing I would find a lost human traveler. Instead I was met with the clear green gaze of my mate's eyes. I yanked the door open wide, watching his composure immediately falter and his face crumple into tears as he covered his face and sobbed. His frame shook with the force of his shivering, weather from cold or fear I didn't know.

I almost pulled him into my arms in relief that he was ok before I noticed his swollen stomach. My breathing stopped as I took in the sight and my arms fell limp beside me. Here was all the proof needed to confirm my fears. He hadn't mated permanently with me, in fact he'd gone out to rut with one of his own kind. It was obvious that was why he was at my door; he needed the food and shelter I could provide to sustain his fawn.

As I watched him cry I knew I couldn't bring myself to turn him away and I sunk to my knees in front of him. He was still my mate and I would help him no matter the toll on myself. I tentatively placed a hand at his navel and looked up to catch his eye as he tried to calm down and watched my movements carefully. I leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on his tummy and trying to tell him that I welcomed his child. Already I could feel myself growing attached. Even if he didn't love me I would care for his fawn as my own. I ignored the feeling of unrest that came when I asked myself how long before it was taken away from me.

Dwelling on the future only added to my distress and instead I stood and ushered him in, leading him to the fireplace to warm up. He clung to my side and I tried to lend him my body heat knowing he had been outside for too long if he had been walking. When he finally stopped crying and color began returning to his cheeks I sat him down and buried him beneath my new winter blankets. I wiped away the last of his tears and looked him over to ensure he wasn't hurt.

Grabbing my warmest coat, I made sure he knew I was leaving, and set out for supplies. I needed to clear my head and the cold air would help me calm down. I felt relief and fear in equal measure but despite the pain he had caused, I couldn't help but be overjoyed at having him back. My deer was finally back and unharmed. I couldn't stop smiling even as tears threatened to spill over my cheeks.

Though I never understood how, humans always had fruits and vegetables even when they couldn't possibly grow and I easily stole all I would need for many days. When I returned to the hill, he was already asleep in my bed, a sight that had been so familiar. Now that he was here I wanted badly to call it our bed; when we mated I had believed everything would become 'ours.' Pulling myself away from my dark thoughts, I dug a small hole in the snow by the door and packed the basket of food into it to keep everything fresh. Before locking up I grabbed two apples for breakfast.

I debated for several minutes on whether I should sleep by the fire but finally the temptation to hold him in my arms was too great and I lay next to him after pulling off my constricting clothing. He was quickly nestled in my arms, still cold and shivering as I drew the blankets up around us. I tried desperately to tell myself everything would be ok tomorrow as I drifted to sleep with my loved one finally in my grasp.

When I woke the next morning I groggily pulled my deer closer since he had drifted in the night. A few gentile kisses later and he was awake with me, wrapping his arms uncertainly around my neck. For a few minutes I thought I could see a happy glow around him and I let myself relax. I wanted to forget the months spent without him and enjoy our time together. He had slept in only his sweater so I could happily view his slender legs. He nipped at my jaw line when he caught me staring and I couldn't restrain my answering laugh. He was soon as relaxed as I was, smiling back at me and even giving me a quick kiss.

I wanted him to be as comfortable with me as he had been that night, like nothing had changed. When he began to trust that I wasn't upset it was easy to imagine that our mating was mutual. I wanted to believe he had only left for reasons I could overcome with time. I would make up any excuse to trust his affection as genuine just so I could be happy.

As I continued to look him over I noticed the toll the harsh weather had taken on him. He was thin besides his swollen belly and his eyes were lined with dark circles, though I'm sure mine were the same. With a reassuring cuddle I rose and retrieved the apples I'd set aside. He sat up and eyed the fruit, taking it eagerly. The fire had gone down in the night and I quickly stroked it to stave off the chill settling in the hillside. I would need to go out soon and gather more wood though if I wanted any to be dry when I next ran out. Now that worry wasn't chewing at my gut I would need to find food as well. It was dangerous to rely on humans too much and I was already using them for my mate's meals.

I heard a small sound behind me and when I turned he was beckoning me back under the covers. The wood could wait; I was only too keen to continue my reacquaintance with his body. Lying beside him, I was surprised when he began running his hands over me instead. He occasionally looked up at me, checking that I approved of his actions. He paid special attention to my chest, even blushing as he kissed over my muscles. I lay perfectly still, in awe that he might see me the way I saw him: as desirable and sexy despite the differences in what we should have wanted in mates. I couldn't be compared to the thin grace that even stags possessed or the demure charm does exuded. These were the traits he should have lusted after, but instead he acted as though he admired my strength and my roughness instead. I had never found my own kind attractive and I began to suspect he was finding the same thing true of himself.

I let out low hums as he played with my ears, eyes wide as he investigated their softness. When my tail flicked around to rest on his hip he nearly couldn't stop staring long enough to pull it closer. It was the only part of me I had caught him openly staring at before, whether in awe of its size compared to his or its range of movement I didn't know. Personally I was fond of the small wiggles of his own tail.

Finally I brushed it aside and scooted down to give his stomach some attention. His expression changed to one of worry but I hoped to reassure him against whatever concerns he held. I kissed everywhere, constantly meeting his eyes to show him how I felt. I wanted this baby as if it were my own and I wanted him to know how attached I already was to his child simply because it was his. His eyes softened and nimble fingers began to thread through my hair as I rested my forehead on the slight bump.

I wanted him to know that I was mated to him but without words I couldn't be sure that he understood. If he knew that then he would also know he could trust me. Instead of regretting his return, as he seemed to when he first appeared, I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to feel safe and welcome in my den so that even if he didn't love me he might spend our lives as my forever mate. His animal instincts would tell him to settle with me if he knew that I posed no threat; after all, my shelter and protection would ensure happy lives for him and his young. I only had to prove myself.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: A shorter chapter this time, I know T^T but scheduling is a mess this year so I need to slow down for a few days. As always, enjoy!

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As he lavished attention at my stomach I felt myself relaxing. This had been the right decision, even if he didn't know the truth about my fawn. He acted so loving that I knew we would be safe, at least for now. My heart was light with his affection and I returned it easily despite my fears for the future. When he looked up at me, face serious again I was almost startled. He took my hand from his hair and pulled me to sit up, igniting panic that he quickly kissed away. I was tugged into his lap; his blue eyes locked with mine as he kissed my palm and placed it over his heart.

I could feel his pulse beating strong and quick beneath my fingers and I knew he wanted me to understand that he cared for me. Now I felt foolish for fearing the worst and immeasurably thankful that he had found me that day not so long ago. He would protect my child; there was no doubt in my mind. Though the future wasn't clear, I felt at peace with staying in his den; maybe even allowing it to become my home. I had missed the adoring way he treated me and now he seemed determined to make it up tenfold.

For the weeks following my return he kept me well fed and well loved. He gave me the gentle support I had feared not having through my pregnancy. I was terrified but his constant presence and protective embrace gave me hope. He often fell asleep curled around my growing stomach, making sure I knew that my fawn would be equally as loved.

I sat in his lap, completely relaxed and exchanging gentle kisses with him. When he wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and began kissing my neck I gave in easily and sighed. It wasn't until I felt sharp teeth against my skin that I knew something was wrong. When he bit harshly into my exposed flesh I didn't try to pull away, only cried out. I could feel him bury his face into the open wound and his eager tongue lapping up the blood. I was sobbing, knowing any struggle would be hopeless. The force of his betrayal rendered me unable to fight back as I was pressed closer against him.

He continued to pull me apart with his teeth, giving satisfied moans as I looked up to block the image from my site. His claws ripped at my back and I could feel my pulse sharply in my ears and my vision cloud as he easily cleaved my skin. When he paused and looked down at my belly I cried out in sheer panic. Not my child; not because of my own foolishness. I howled for my fawn to be spared even as my own life began to ebb away in dark pools between us.

When he looked back up at me his face was covered sticky crimson and his smile was wicked. There was no doubt what he intended to do and there was no way for me to stop him.

I jerked awake, clutching my stomach and screaming. There wasn't enough air and I gulped down large lungfuls trying to figure out what was happening. When I felt arms wrapping around me I balked, trying to crawl away in alarm. Seeing his face only frightened me more and I began crying in earnest. As he gradually drew me closer I began to sort out my dream and finally I began to shake when he pulled me against him. He kept still, just holding me until I calmed down.

I knew he was aware that my dream involved him and guilt assailed me. He had done nothing to warrant the nightmare and I pulled him close as I tried to stop sniffling. I just wanted the images to leave my head. Each time I closed my eyes I could see the thick blood dripping off his chin. As he silently reassured me I began to drift back into sleep. His hands rubbed small circles on my back and he kept me shielded in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** As always, your reviews keep me well motivated! You're all very intelligent readers and I love knowing that you understand things that I don't spell out. Enjoy!

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When I woke the next morning it was several minutes before memories of my nightmare assailed me. Looking up at him I was sure it would never come to pass and my fears had only hurt him. There was still the part of me however, that knew my dream was what should be happening to me. Every night I lay next to my natural executioner and trusted him not only not to hurt me but to protect my fawn and I.

When he opened his eyes I pulled myself closer and kissed him deeply. Nightmares were always easier to put to rest at the dawn and I wanted nothing more than to forget mine. He had done nothing to make me unsure of his devotion and it was time I banished my doubts. I believed completely that his unspoken promises were genuine and there was no need for him see any suspicion. He allowed my kiss, knowing, I think, that I had as much to prove to myself as to him.

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Seeing him so terrified and beyond reach that night had broken my heart all over again. I had known when I first heard him scream what he was dreaming about and my first reaction was to jerk away. I was jolted into the past, when we first met and he often cried when he saw me. I had thought I would loose him then to the stress on his heart and the thought that he might once again be in danger because of me was an ice bath to my senses. I snapped from my thoughts and reminded myself that he needed me to be calm.

When I reached out for him his violent jolt and wrenching sobs threatened my composure but I silently pulled him closer until he was a shaking mess in my arms. Still unsure if he wanted my comfort, I was relieved when he clung to me as he calmed down. He kept his face buried in my neck, his breath tickling over my skin as he finally began falling back asleep. I could only hope that he understood I would never hurt him and that his nightmare would not become reality.

He was apologetic the next morning, and it reassured me that he didn't secretly distrust me. I wanted badly to prove that my loyalty was absolute. His kiss told me that if he wasn't convinced already then I at least stood a chance. Still our time together seemed fragile and I was weary to leave the den even when I knew it was necessary. I was surprised when he began to dress with me as I prepared to go out and followed me to the door. He had spent very little time outside but now he took my arm and steadfastly accompanied me into the snow.

Even with the sun out the cold was biting and I made my first errand to collect firewood. With such heavy snowfall it wasn't hard to find large branches that had been broken off and my mate quickly began helping me when he saw what we were doing. The work warmed us up and soon his cheeks were red as we began gathering up the wood to bring home. He pouted when I would let him drag the largest branches but I only kissed his nose and stared pointedly at his stomach. Blushing, he conceded and took the smaller branches; it was something that I couldn't help grinning at.

We stacked them neatly in the passage between the inner and outer doors to dry before I left again, this time for town, with him closely at my side. I stopped at the edge of the forest, rooting under the base of a tree stump for something to conceal us. My yearling's curiosity was cute and I couldn't help but kiss him quickly before pulling a knitted hat over his ears. His tail was small enough that his odd jacket hid it easily but I tucked it in his jeans to be safe. My own ears were also hidden under a hat but my tail could only be covered by a long wool coat.

Now looking properly human, I grabbed my shoulder bag and we set off hand in hand for the town. He was alight with interest at the shops we passed but I continued on until we reached the houses. Here was where we would gather everything we might need. Many human things did not make sense to me, including why these homes would be so abandoned during the day. Even the children were often not present, leaving them completely unguarded. I had learned which few houses still had people in them and pointed them out to the deer at my side as we passed them.

I left him to lookout for humans as I scaled the fence outside one of the houses that had strings hung outside for clothing. There was only one blanket this time, which I quickly rolled up and added to my bag. The next house had a quilt and two sheets outside which would definitely make the trip worthwhile. With my mate to signal me if everything was clear I was able to collect several towels as well in half of my usual time. Next came the more dangerous part of our task.

I needed to collect a bit more food and maybe a pillow. There were only a few houses that had ways I could enter them and I suspected they would eventually realize they were being robbed, even if I tried to steal as little as possible. My heart was pounding as usual when I entered the first place on my list. I found the fruit bowl full, meaning I could steal several pieces unnoticed. There was also a cabbage in the fridge, which would be more obvious but would feed my mate for several meals instead of one.

The next house had evidently just been stocked with fresh vegetables and I grinned at our good fortune. Two cucumbers, a tomato, as squash, and some celery would help keep my deer happy for weeks. I could only take miscellaneous cans from the other houses but I hoped it would mean they would be stocked the next time we visited. I waited until the last house to grab a pillow from a small, shelved room where I hopped it would not be missed. It was stuffed under my coat and we left without any incident.

Luck had been on our side all day and I was more that grateful, especially when I tried to picture the pregnant deer at my side running. I was occasionally trapped in a house or yard for long periods of time but with a partner I could slip in and out with more ease. Our luck continued when we found new furniture outside one of the houses on the outskirts of the town, facing the edge of the forest. I peeked in the windows to be safe before allowing my companion to steal a cushion form one.

He spent the remainder of the trek grinning and excited, prancing ahead and darting back to me. Occasionally he would stop to dig under oak trees for acorns or snap off tender branch tips and add them to my bag.

I handed over the bag to him when we reached the hill and grabbed my two buckets to set out for water. He had long since learned to build and stroke up the fire so I looked forward to a warm home when I returned. The food was already packed in snow by the door when I arrived and I left one bucket in the passage with the wood where it would stay cool. Once inside I began unpacking the blankets we gathered and set to work on a smaller bed next to our own.

The cushion was the base and placed flush against the wall of our nest. The pillow became the beginning of the rest of the wall that would surround this new bed. With the sheets and blankets it began to take shape and when I glanced up I could tell my mate knew what I was building. With just a couple more pillows it would become a cradle beside our bed.

He came to stand beside me, staring down at it and I began to wonder if I had done something wrong. I realized how little I knew about deer and what he might need. When he looked up at me there were tears trailing down his cheeks but he smiled as he stood on his toes to kiss me. I pushed my worries aside, happy I had done something right.

As it started getting later I stared at the door, debating if I should hunt. Our time together seemed less fragile and I marveled at the change a single day could make. Still, I didn't want our progress to be undone so soon so that I could fill my stomach. Its growl alerted him anyway, but instead of flinching away he only pushed me toward the door. A kiss and a shove reassured me and as I left I reminded myself that I couldn't stop hunting and could only hope that this meant that he understood.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Finally done! Thank you all for your incredible support and be on the look out for bonus chapters.

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My hunt yielded only two rabbits but it was enough to satisfy my appetite for a while. I made sure to clean my muzzle thoroughly and rinse out my mouth before trekking home. When I arrived my mate was just finishing off one of the celery stalks with a drink of water and quickly rose to greet me. He unzipped my vest and wrapped his arms around my waist, warming me with his body heat. I smirked as I slipped my freezing hands under the back of his sweater and he shrieked, jumping forward into me. It earned me a nip on the jaw but I only pulled him closer and enjoyed the warmth he was radiating.

It was a great relief that he was not bothered by my eating habits though I resolved to be carful to never let evidence of it enter our home. As for his own food I stopped letting him accompany me as he began to show more and only let him forage with me when the sun was out to offer some warmth. Sometimes he would try to be stubborn but as his child grew he began staying inside more.

In was only a few weeks later that the show began to thaw, even if it would refreeze overnight. Spring was coming and I looked forward to no longer being confined to the den. I knew my yearling was even more eager since deer didn't seek refuge in the winter months. Though he welcomed the warmth and shelter, he grew more restless by the day.

As we waited for the lengthening days to grow warm I continued working on the cradle. My mate always sat close as I worked, wanting it to be perfect. His child would be in human form when born and it would be a year before it would learn to change. When I finally deemed it safe and perfect I sat back to take in the sight. My deer was tucked against my side and sighed happily as I kissed his head.

When I came home from my next trip into town I unpacked several towels and another cushion from the furniture we had stolen from. I set the long cushion against one of the den walls and formed a headrest using a few blankets and a pillow. With the towels stacked beside the makeshift bed it was ready. When I motioned for my lover to investigate he gave it a confused look but I gently touched his stomach and looked at the pallet. Understanding dawned and he blushed as he realized I'd created a soft place for him to give birth.

Somehow seeing where it would happen made it seem more imminent that it had before. Even though I knew the day was approaching quicker than I felt ready for I tried to hold my nerve. I was a hardened predator but still the thought of what my mate would be going though soon was a scary one. It was made even more frightening by the level of worry he often showed. He thought he could hide it from me but more and more often I found him sitting still with his arms around his stomach, brow furrowed in deep concentration.

When spring finally settled in for good we spent our days outside, only going in to sleep. The first day it was truly warm he raced into the new grass shoots and lay for hours. I hoped that it would take his mind off whatever had been troubling him but in the evenings and sometimes even in the night he would still get the look. His eyes would glaze over and he even looked pained sometimes. Something was very wrong but he never tried to show me what it was. He would be due soon and the thought things might not go well made it loom even darker than before.

Spring also meant that I didn't have to venture into the human town for food, a risk I was grateful to leave behind. Time outside was spent in our animal forms and I stayed close as his guardian. I'm sure we made an odd site when we lay curled around each other in the shade but the thought only made me smile. It was finally spring after all and my mate was content at my side.

It was well into the season when I was drawn back to the hill by a startled cry from my deer. When I made it inside he was lying on the pallet I had made and it took several seconds for me to understand what that meant. The day had come.

I took a deep breath, calming my nerves, before grabbing the water bucket and setting it beside him along with the towels. I tried to tell myself that there was nothing to worry about; nature would take her course and by the end of the day his child would be safely in his arms. I needed to be collected and give him confidence, especially since he appeared to be panicking. I settled beside him and stroked his hair as he squeezed my hand.

An hour later I was wiping a damp cloth across his face and making sure he drank a bit. He kept looking at me with so much fear, though I still had no ideas why he was so scared. My comforting kisses seemed to put him a bit more at ease so I was confident he wasn't afraid of me.

When the contractions eventually came closer together I slipped behind him so I could comfort him better. Braced against my body, he began to push and I kept his hands clasped in mine. He was crying out loudly as tears leaked from his eyes. I kept my breathing deep and strong behind him despite my inner alarm, urging him to follow my example.

When he finally collapsed against me I quickly stood, grabbing a towel. Before I could even get to the child it began to wail and I nearly fainted in relief. Never had a sound been so beautiful to my ears than the healthy cry of my mate's child. The feeling was quickly upstaged by my first glimpse and I noted that he was a boy. Lifting him into a towel, I rocked him in my arms, shushing his crying with a huge grin on my face. I couldn't stop staring at his tiny features and for several moments I was lost in my own world, just looking.

A sharp cry from my yearling quickly snapped me out of it as I glanced down to see his face crumpled with worry. I looked back at his son with a smile, eager to show him to his father when suddenly my grin faded. I had been so transfixed by the small bundle that I hadn't properly looked at him. Now though I blinked in confusion as I took in the obviously canine ears and long bushy tail.

How could I be holding a wolf pup in my arms? Seeing my face, tears began to stram down my mate's face and reached out for his child. For a long minute I froze, trying to understand. For him to have given birth to a wolf meant… It meant I was the father. My mate was actually my mate; he hadn't gotten pregnant by another deer. The child I had come to love already was actually mine.

My head spun with the force of the emotions running through me as yet again my blood ran cold. Is this what he had been so worried about? He was crying harder now, begging me with whines to let him hold his boy. But what if he didn't want him once he knew? What if he rejected my child?

Fear aside I knew I had to show him, especially as he grew more and more distraught. I sat back down behind him, carefully placing the boy in his arms with my own beneath them for support. He gave a small hiccupping laugh as he finally saw his child's face and gently ran a finger over his cheek. When he pulled the towel back to see more I held my breath and buried my face in his neck. When I looked up I was surprised to see him beaming at his son. When he looked down at my tentative smile he seemed to swell with pride.

He relaxed against me and I took our son in my arms, beginning to clean him off and wrapping him in a blanket. I stood and lay him down in the cradle, staring at him sleep before cleaning up my mate and helping him to the bed. He lay up against the side with his arm across the top of the cradle and I curled against his back, happier than I could ever remember being.

Though things could, and sometimes should, have gone wrong at every turn; against all odds everything was right. I had found my true forever mate, the one that would love me back and he was a singularly perfect young deer. Though I never dreamed it possible my mate gave me a healthy pup and loved him even more for being a wolf. I had a family. The one thing I had never allowed myself to hope for.

Now with him safe in my arms I smiled sleepily and thanked mother nature for sending him to me. My mate. My deer.


End file.
